How to Support Someone Through Grief and Loss

Grief is a universal human experience – something that we all encounter at times during our lives when we experience any sort of loss.  Yet when someone we care about is grieving, many of us feel unsure about what to say, how to help, or what they might need.

So, how can we best support someone who is grieving?

🔍 What does grief look and feel like?

No two people grieve the same way. Some cry, some are quiet and withdrawn. Some throw themselves into routines. Others struggle with concentration, energy, or physical symptoms. Grief can be emotional, cognitive, physical, behavioural, or spiritual, and often shows up differently depending on culture, identity and life experience.

Grief is not linear, predictable, or neat.

Understanding this can help us avoid assumptions like “They seem fine” or “They’re not grieving properly.”

🧭 Understanding different kinds of loss

People grieve for many different reasons. Loss can be in the form of bereavement, but also:

• loss of identity or role.
• the end of a relationship.
• a change in health.
• cultural disconnection.
• a lost future, dream, or sense of stability.

Approaching grief with curiosity and respect helps ensure no one feels judged or misunderstood.

🫴 Being there matters more than fixing

When someone is grieving, the most powerful support often comes from human connection. That means:

• Listening without trying to solve anything.
• Acknowledging the loss instead of avoiding the topic.
• Recognising their pain as real and valid.
• Allowing silence when words fall short.

Avoid clichés or comparisons – even well‑intentioned ones can feel minimising when someone is hurting.

🛠️ Practical ways to support someone grieving

Support doesn’t have to be big or complicated. Simple, sincere phrases can make a bigger impact than you might expect, like. “I’m here with you” or “It makes sense that this hurts.”

It can also sound like:

• “I’m going to the shops – can I grab you anything?”
• “Want some company today, or would you prefer quiet?”
• “I can help with the kids, the house, or phone calls, just tell me what would lighten your load.”

Practical help reduces overwhelm and reminds the grieving person that they’re not carrying everything alone.

🌱 Looking after yourself while supporting others

Supporting someone who is grieving starts with presence, patience and understanding. But just like grief doesn’t follow a timetable, your role isn’t to rush someone through it. By listening, validating, and offering steady, thoughtful support, you help create a space where healing feels possible.

Supporting someone through this experience can be emotionally demanding. Healthy boundaries, self‑reflection, rest and supervision (in workplaces) help ensure you continue showing up with compassion rather than burnout.

If you’d like to learn more about grief and loss, including more practical strategies that can be used in your own life or in your work with others, join us for Understanding Grief and Loss.