De-escalation: Working safely with young people

Strong emotional reactions in young people can be confronting, especially when behaviour shifts quickly or feels disproportionate to the situation.

Escalation is often misunderstood as defiance or disrespect, but more often it reflects a young person whose capacity to cope has been exceeded in that moment.

So, whether it’s in the classroom, or in a support work scenario, how can you safely de-escalate a situation involving a young person?

 

🧠 Understanding how stress affects a developing brain

Understanding escalated behaviour begins with recognising how stress affects the brain and body.

In particular, an adolescent brain is still developing, so young people may:

  • Respond to stress differently than adults.
  • Have heightened sensitivity to perceived threats.
  • Be strongly influenced by their social setting and react differently depending on who is around them.
  • Be impacted by other mental health challenges, which first start to appear during adolescence.

When a young person feels threatened, overwhelmed or ashamed, their nervous system prioritises survival over thinking. Language, reasoning and impulse control become harder to access.

This is why trying to correct behaviour or explain consequences while trying to de-escalate a situation can makes things worse rather than better.

 

🛟 Effective de-escalation starts with safety

For both you and the young person involved, safety is paramount. If an escalated situation is unsafe, stepping back and seeking support is the right action.

When it is safe to engage, the most helpful responses are often slower, calmer and simpler than we might expect. Calm body language and predictable behaviour can communicate safety before any words are used.

Lowering your voice, simplifying your language, and giving a young person space can significantly reduce the perceived threat as well.

 

💭 Being mindful of contributing factors

It can be helpful to view escalating behaviour not as a failure, but as a form of communication.

Factors like trauma or unmet needs could be driving the behaviour, such as:

  • Hunger
  • Exhaustion
  • Confusion
  • Lack of control
  • Fear of judgment
  • Feeling unheard

While you don’t always need to solve these problems in the moment, it may be helpful to consider for future interactions, as these factors can all intensify a young person’s stress response.

Validation also plays an important role in easing escalation.

Acknowledging how hard something feels for a young person does not mean agreeing with their behaviour. Rather, it communicates that they are seen and understood, which reduces shame and opens the door to regulation.

 

✏️ Want to learn more?

If you’d like to learn more about safely and effectively working with young people, including how to de-escalate challenging situations involving young people, join us for De-escalation Skills Youth.

 

📜 Sources